June 2004
JUNE 26, 2004 :: 05:29PM Reporting from the Hyatt in OC.
Jammin' to A Heart Full of Love... feelin' festive.The work portion of our 8th annual seminar is officially over. The dinner gala thingamajigg is tonight at 7pm. Awards, gratuitous acknowledgement of the corporate staff, dinner, drunken dancing, etc. Fun times. Tomorrow morning is the "goodbye" brunch where people cry and shit, and then part ways. Unlike years before, the corporate staff has to stay another night here and have our corporate seminar all day Monday. Then, back to the daily grind on Tuesday.
It's 5:17 and still in boxers and a wife beater. It doesn't take me terribly long to get ready, but I want to time my shower correctly so that I'm not sharing the bathroom with someone else once he gets here. I also am out of conditioner, and I could either request some from housekeeping, buy some at the gift shop, or hope and pray he got my message to bring some. Fkin' A. I'll just call housekeeping... 30 seconds later... That was easy! It's amazing the time and money I save when I just get off my ass every once in a while.
I hate the dress I'm wearing, but no big deal. Nobody to impress, and I'll be floating around being the photographer most of the time anyway. I didn't have time to shop for a new dress, so I pulled out one of my seldomly-worn work dresses that can be semi-formal if I pair it up with the right shoes/accessories. WTF am I talking about this for.
I miss my doggy. He's killin' me. When I was leaving on Wednesday morning, he knew it so he was whimpering a bit. I put my luggage by the door and he climbed on top of my luggage as if to guard me from leaving. Awweeeeee. It's scary being attached to something so much...
Feelings are bad mmmmmmkay.
JUNE 19, 2004 :: 07:34PM How in one night have we come...
Jammin' to Les Miserables... feelin' musical.Watched Miss Saigon today and picked up a souvenir shirt. I remember seeing Jennifer Paz [Kim] in a previous production, and she is the current Kim on this tour, but we saw the understudy. The understudy was pretty damn good. Though not as strong, she sounded just like Lea Salonga, in my opinion. She's from Sherman Oaks too! She went to the same high school as my cousins and currently goes to CSUN I believe.
Prior to the show, people were handing out memos in front of the theatre. The memo talked about how the producers cut corners and saved money by replacing half of the orchestra ensemble with computer generated sound effects. WEAK! Even if I didn't know this bit of info, I would've been able to tell that something about the "live" music was off.
It seems as though they skimp out little by little each time we see the show. The last two shows didn't even have a real helicopter, but a big screen with video of a heli. No big deal I guess, but this time around it felt like the entire thing was being rushed. All of the songs, even the powerhouse ballads were sped up a bit. The in-between speaking and song dialogue were choppy and it just wasn't as fluid. Some songs weren't sung as powerfully as they should have been, so I was kinda left there like.. uh.. thasss it?? The guy who played John was HORRIBLE, and Chris [whom I also saw in last year's show] was a dufus. Sharp on almost every note, and over-acted way too much in some parts. The engineer was good, again, same actor we saw last year. A little too fobulous though. And my last rant - they NEVER sing the Sacred Bird finale, ever!!! Disappointing, but I still love the show.
C+
JUNE 19, 2004 :: 02:01AM No worries, I'm all better now.
Jammin' to Xscape... feelin' pooped.I blacked out for a few days after that last entry, but now I am back.
It's a mad house at the office. We leave for the seminar in a couple days and I don't think anyone is near being ready. I will probably end up going into work for a few hours tomorrow morning, err, in a couple hours, or after Miss Saigon. May also stop in on Sunday. I've been caught up with seminar preparations and IT stuff that I've left my day to day accounting thingamajiggs on the back burners.
While I was fixing myself a glass of iced tea mix + tap water [bleh], I glanced over at the counter and saw my UCLA Summer 2004 catalog. OH SHIT, classes start on June 30th and I haven't even bought books yet. GRRR. I knew there was a reason I had a couple hundred bucks burning a hole in my pocket. I think I may be able to convince work to pay for my books. There is no current educational reimbursement policy, but damnit, I'm gonna create one. It'll only benefit the company for me to be all smart and edumacated. Maybe one day I'll have my Masters like all the cool people. ;)
Mmmmm... I Y nerds.
So I figured out the culprit of all my gassiness as of late. It's all the fucking maltitol in my new favorite sweet treats!! As the link states, it's not technically an artificial sweetener [heh] like aspartame or sucralose, but serves the same purpose -- to sweeten up stuff without making them too fattening. But while I'm enjoying candy on a calorie/carb-budget, I'm the gassiest I have ever been in my entire life. Seriously, I have to clench my ass cheeks together as to not let an ABB [audible, but benign] fart out. Stomach grumbles all day, but it isn't necessarily painful or uncomfortable. Just, strange. As soon as I got home I let allllll the gas come out as it pleased. I sounded like a trumpet. It was funny.
Holy 2am. Alright, time for bed.
JUNE 15, 2004 :: 01:33PM Outcome of Game 5
Jammin' to fire truck sirens... feelin' perturbed.Tonight could be the introduction of a brand spankin' new mood in the collection of Mae's Mood Swings. I shall call this mood @#$%!!@!.
My life is in disarray. My apartment is a mess. My bills are piling up and I haven't paid any of them. Not because I don't have the money, but because the piles are so disorganized and I do not have the patience to sort through them. Come to think of it, I don't even know if I have the money. I haven't checked my balance in weeks. The empty water bottles and soft drink trays from fast food joints are cluttering my car. I used to keep a very tight schedule of tasks at work, now I don't even know where I've left off and where I should begin. I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions at work, which is nothing unusual, but add that to the disorder in my personal life and you get a double whammy.
I'm leaving town for a week next week and I've GOT to get shit straightened out at home before I can do that. My room is sickening. I can barely see my floor anymore. I'm still fighting my normal laundry battles, but the difference now is that I don't fucking CARE that my dirty laundry is everywhere. Oliver poops on his poopy pads but likes to mark his fucking territory [pee pee] all over the gotdamn apartment. I can't ever tell if there's piss on the wood floors so I end up stepping in it. @#$%!!@!. I've been meaning to mop up the whole place to get rid of the piss smell but yeah, again, life is all in shambles.
Yesterday I finally got around to buying some Mac mascara. My old one disappeared and my dog chewed up the one I had been using [some cheapo CoverGirl one]. This morning, for some odd reason I was excited to finally get to use some quality mascara again. I thought I left it in my purse but it wasn't in there. I was running late and couldn't easily find it anywhere in my room because it's such a fucking mess. That really put me in a sour mood. Why something so petty? JUST BECAUSE.
So, after tonight this mood can get slightly better or at an all-time worst. We shall see. We shall see.
JUNE 12, 2004 :: 03:07PM In the spirit of Miss Saigon season...
Jammin' to myself. HAHA.... feelin' accomplished.Woo hoo, finally made use of my Adobe Audition software. And if no one else, I know at least Edmond will appreciate my hard work. HAha.
[Please right click, save as...]
>>> I'd Give My Life For You as told by Mizzae.
Ignore everything on the song after the 3:50 mark. I've gotta figure out how to fade the song out because the last minute of it KILLS ME.
And for those of you who do not prefer my broadway-ness, this one's for you.
>>> Until You Come Back To Me
JUNE 12, 2004 :: 01:37AM Crush on you
Jammin' to Tony! Toni! Tone!... feelin' butterflies.I've almost forgotten what it feels like to have a crush on somebody. The butterflies. The random thoughts of that person that pop into your head while you're at work, or driving around, or sitting at the computer typing in your journal, that make you smile. Kinda nice to have something pleasant to think about once in a while. But on the flipside, since I'm so not used to this, I tend to push the positive things on the back burners while I worry about what could go wrong, or even when they'll go wrong. I'm definitely more at ease about the situation now, though. I'm confident everything will work out fine in the end... or beginning.
Oh yeah, no Porsches for me this weekend. Boo hoo hoo... plans fell through. It's okay, I'll just peruse the Auto Trader and drool over 993s and 930s for sale that I can't afford, like always. I'm determined now. By the end of next year, or my 24th birthday, I will have my 911. Which model? Heh, now that all depends...
JUNE 09, 2004 :: 08:22PM My stomach is talking to me.
Jammin' to rumbly tummy... feelin' not hungry.For some unknown reason, my stomach has been growling all day. I ate breakfast, had a snack for lunch, and just finished a sandwich for dinner. I'm not hungry at all but it insists on forcing me to feed it. There it goes again. Shut up!!
It's been a while since I have seen a few of my friends. So, this weekend we are headed for the happenin' city of Bakersfield, CA for Dubwars. This year I actually have a Euro [during our past road trips there's usually 3-4 euros and 1-2 Hondas, myself included] so it should be a neat caravan driving up. Hooray for old ass German cars driving up the 5 north. Honk if you see me!
My company's annual seminar is in two weeks. w00000ooo. We all know how much I love to stay in hotels, haha, and this is going to be 6 days at the Hyatt Regency near Disneyland all on the company dime. Well not completely; I'm paying a little bit extra towards a single room because I'm very anti and don't want to share with anyone. =D
Tomorrow morning our IT guys are giving us a training session on using Outlook. HOLY SHIT HELLO 21st CENTURY! Of course I won't need any training, but you know... the coworkers are a little freaked out at the idea that AOL is not the be-all, end-all of business communication and productivity.
Now I must get off the computer and lay down. Bye bye!
JUNE 05, 2004 :: 02:41AM HECTORRRRR! *grunt*
Jammin' to silence... feelin' amused.I went to see Troy tonight. Too tired to type out my review so I will copy and paste what I wrote on a message board.
Throughout the entire movie I was thinking in my head, Hector looks AWFULLY like someone else, but couldn't figure out who until now. Someone on the message board mentioned Peja Stojakovic of the Sac Kings and BAM! I realized that's who I was thinking of. Funny shit.
Hector was by far my favorite character. Paris was a pussy, Achilles was a proud jerk, Helen was the token bitch who tears apart brotherhood and friendship, and was probably the person who caused the phrase "bros before hoes" to be coined.
For someone who can't sit still for 5 minutes let alone almost 3 hours, I liked the movie. Yes, the dialogue was way too cheesy, not to mention the dun dun dunnnnnn climax music. But a lot of the times I was distracted by hunky abdomens, so it was all worth it. I wasn't emotionally moved or anything, but was QUITE amused. I was trying so hard to hold in my laughter during some parts. Especially when Achilles was calling for Hector. HECTOR!!!! *grunt*.... HECTORRR!!!!! *grunt* The duel between the two was a high of the movie though.
My grade based on what the movie is SUPPOSED to represent: 5/10
My grade based on my enjoyment of the film: 8/10
Sincerely,
Person who doesn't know shit about the Iliad
JUNE 03, 2004 :: 11:16PM Sour cream and cheese only please.
Jammin' to Monica... feelin' still crampy.Memorial Day weekend was spent with my parents in San Diego. My brother went with me to get my tires mounted at this shop in Kearny Mesa. On our way back, mother called and asked us to pick up lunch at Lolita's taco shop.
"Two carne asada fries with only sour cream and cheese, a carnitas burrito and three rolled tacos with only sour cream and cheese please." I also had some horchata. Mmm, tangy milk.
When we got home, my sister hungrily opened the foil covering her rolled tacos. What we found was a bunch of sour cream with one solitary strand of shredded cheese in the center. OMG. My brother and I couldn't stop laughing. Obviously it was a mistake; they forgot the cheese. But the fact that there was one tiny string of cheese in the sea of sour cream was so funny. So, that explains the current cam picture.
I've got two washing machines going. They should be just about done, but now I have to throw the clothes in the dryer. That means it'll be at least an hour and a half before I get to go to bed. Why didn't I start earlier? Bleh. Off to the laundry room I go.
PS, thank you all for your emails, especially Edmond. I haven't responded to anyone but that's not because I don't care. First of all I'm just bad at responding to emails to begin with, second, anything relating to this situation just rolls right off my back because I'm still in the denial stage. Thanks again everyone.
JUNE 03, 2004 :: 03:12PM New RAW FILES entry
Jammin' to office patter... feelin' crampy.Title: Regret.
(e-mail for access.)
JUNE 02, 2004 :: 11:14PM Brain dead.
Jammin' to Blackstreet... feelin' helpless.Perhaps this is the most extreme wake-up call a person can ever receive. The love of your life, and person who knows you more than anybody, is brain dead. I briefly spoke with Rob's sister today. By the sound of her voice, I could tell there was bad news or no news at all. They've started to do some surgery and all they can to make him responsive. Nothing has worked, and the neurologist has concluded that he is brain dead. It is almost certain that he will never walk or talk again. The family is meeting with another neurologist for a second opinion. They should get the results from the testing this week. The fact that the family is already being presented with options... meaning pull the plug or not... makes me a little nauseous.
Enter wake-up call. All of my simple, petty problems have seemed to disappear. Sure, not getting your sweet and sour sauce with your chicken mcnuggets may seem like it's the end of the world, but just wait until you wrap your fucking car around a concrete pole and suffer severe brain damage. I hate saying this but in a way this is a blessing. I've stopped sweating the petty things and petting the sweaty things. I'm more appreciative of the relationships I have in my life. Blood, platonic and romantic relationships.
But I'd return to my pessimistic, stressful, problem-ridden life in a second if it meant Rob was healthy again.
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