May 2005

MAY 31, 2005 :: 11:52PM

Ooooh, I need a massage. Jammin' to ... feelin'

An hour at the gym and an hour and a half of softball makes Mae a sore girl. It all started halfway through my workout. I don't know what's up with my body today, but I want nothing more than to soak in a nice, hot, bubbly, extra super clean, detached-from-wall, clawfoot tub. Maybe a massage afterwards by an equally hot, bubbly, extra super clean non-English speaking hunk named Sergei. We lost the game 16-19, but we made a good run towards the end. The other team was all professional though, matching jerseys and even cute little matching white tights with green knee high socks. It's a good thing American Idol is over :p because we have 3 straight games (every Tuesday) before we get a bye. In other news... I bought a karaoke player on eBay last week and it arrived today. My neighbors are going to loooove us. It's about time I got with the program; I was probably the last Filipino in California without a karaoke machine. Not anymore, muah hah hah. Yeeah.

MAY 30, 2005 :: 08:51AM

You've gotta be kidding me. Jammin' to ... feelin'

After finally getting shut eye at a little bit after 5AM, here I lie, wide awake only three and a half hours later!! Dear Baby Jesus, just let me sleep!! :(

MAY 30, 2005 :: 04:45AM

4 o'clock I still can't find you... Jammin' to nothing... feelin' restless.

...scared of what our love has come to. I wait by the phone and I feel so alo-o-one. I care for you. Haha, I don't know why I thought of that song (Give Me a Reason by Buffy). Maybe because it's after 4AM and I'm still up. Not really sleepy either. I managed to sleep in until noon today, but oversleeping 3 hours shouldn't mean insomnia. I guess I've got too much on my mind. It turns out I was able to get outta dodge this weekend. It felt nice to be completely disconnected from my every day life. Very theraputic. I would've still been out of town except I've got to do two things this Memorial Monday. Visit my grandmother in the hospital (she may have alzheimer's...) and attend a graduation party. Which reminds me, I need to get a gift, or at least a card. I'd feel tacky showing up empty handed. So yeah, my grandmother is back in the hospital. My mom says she doesn't recognize anybody anymore. It's amazing how sudden these things happen; I just saw my grandparents last weekend and everything seemed fine. As much as I hate to think about it, I have to prepare myself for that day that will eventually come when one of them passes. They're both in their late 80s and neither of them are in the best condition. I'm grateful that I even got to know all four of my grandparents; I know that some people aren't as lucky. Alright, I think I've just bored myself into sleepiness. G'night.

MAY 27, 2005 :: 01:05AM

Back on Pacific Time Jammin' to That Thing You Do!... feelin' sleepy.

One of the sacrifices you have to make when you're in a long distance "relationship" is your normal sleeping routine. Being on the left coast, it wasn't necessarily a sacrifice, but a benefit for me to function on Eastern/Central (during daylight saving) Time. That meant I was asleep by 11PM and awake by 7AM, regardless of the day. I sure felt more productive when I wasn't sleeping half the day away. It's been about a month since I've given up "Central Time" and I'm back in my old Pacific Time habit. 1AM weblogging. The fucked up part is that I regained my old post-midnight bed time, and the morning wake up time remains. As much as I want to sleep the Saturdays and Sundays away, I'm simply unable to stay unconscious. Earlier this week I was dreading this upcoming 3-day weekend. That's one extra day that I can't drown myself in work and not have to think about anything going on in my personal life. I wanted to take a mini-vacation and just get away from everything, but there's no sense in spending all that money on a temporary fix when I'm just gonna have to come back to the same shit anyway. Plus I have a graduation party and picnic to attend. And we all know I'm the life of the party right? ... Right.

MAY 24, 2005 :: 12:53PM

Crap, all over my shirt. Jammin' to nothing... feelin' nostalgic.

Against my better judgement I wore a white shirt to work today. That's an accident waiting to happen. When I got into the office I sat down and fixed myself a bowl of Special K. As I happily munched on my cereal, I looked down and saw some crap on my shirt. FUCK! I made it 30 minutes without having an incident. The crap on my shirt was some milk that had dripped on the table, and I wiped up with my shirt. Lovely. I stole a company t-shirt and changed. The smell of the new shirt reminds me of a middle school PE uniform. Ahh, memories. The other day I received a letter from the Department of Homeland Security. Apparently my fingerprints were approved and they confirmed that I am not a terrorist. My interview is scheduled for June 28th. This is where they ask me why I want to be a proud US Citizen and then quiz me on who the first President of the US was. I'm glad I'm finally getting it over with, and I have to thank David for putting that fire under my butt. Now if only I can find a way to suppress the burning sensation...

MAY 19, 2005 :: 01:07PM

Seminar 2005 & I'm getting old. Jammin' to nothing... feelin' PUMPED!

This year, my company's annual seminar is being held at the Hard Rock hotel in Chicago. Seminar is always fun for me, since it's pretty much a paid vacation and I get to stay in a hotel [you know me and hotels]. I'm extra excited about this year because we get to finally leave California. I loved Chicago when I visited last month and I can't wait to go back!! The only crappy thing is that we decided to go with an oh so trite Hawaiian theme for the Saturday night dinner/dance/gala. Lame. It's usually semi-formal. Guess I won't have to buy a dress. =\ The other night, Hoe Bag and I went to see her friend's band play at a lounge in Hollywood. It was pretty cool, like I've mentioned many times before I love live music. I also fell in love with the lead singer of the Chris Murray Combo. His voice is awesome. I'm such a groupie. I wouldn't mind seeing them perform again. But we're both OLD FOGIES and were tired as hell by 11:30. I hadn't had anything to eat that day so the two cocktails I had were making my tummy feel weird. I'm such a lightweight, it's pretty sad. Alright, back to work I go.

MAY 17, 2005 :: 12:13PM

Well, I did it! Jammin' to Maroon 5... feelin'

I successfully drove him away with my incessant neuroses, insecurities and indecision. We let a perfect friendship die, and lack of communication [okay, and lack of sanity on my part] was the culprit. Ultimately it was my decision, but I just wish it didn't happen so negatively. That was my fault too. If you're reading this right now, I want to apologize again for the harsh words. Similar to the way some guys think and act with their penises, I was your typical girl and let my heart do the talking for me. I lost a friend, but gained a lot of clarity. I definitely learned my lesson. Well my dears, it's time to close that chapter of my life and move on. Ready, set... go!

MAY 16, 2005 :: 12:32PM

New RAW FILES entry Jammin' to ... feelin'

Title: I'm sorry, I tried, but now I'm done.

MAY 15, 2005 :: 11:14AM

I lost my composure. Jammin' to Tribe... feelin' who knows.

I went over to Edmond's, caught one glimpse of his splash page [the image above] and started to cry. When you hear a song lyric that describes your exact situation, watch a movie that you swore was based on your life, or in this case, see a piece of artwork that is a reflection of you... when art starts to imitate life, it somehow reinforces your emotions and helps you feel like you're not alone. Ever since middle school I've had a habit of making a wish everytime I glanced at the clock and it was 1:11, 2:22, etc. The superstition was either a) someone is thinking of you and/or b) make a wish and it will come true. I don't know what it is, but for the past month I always happen to look at a clock during these times. And everytime I look, I make the same wish. Of course this isn't middle school anymore, and you probably think I am insane by now, but there's no harm in hoping, right? Or is there...

MAY 13, 2005 :: 04:20PM

New RAW FILES entry Jammin' to ... feelin' frustrated.

Title: I don't know what to do.

MAY 10, 2005 :: 04:42PM

Interviews are a PITA. Jammin' to OH! by Ciara... feelin' amused.

This is my receptionist's last week with us, so I interviewed a couple candidates today. Interviewing potential employees is corporate America's version of going on a first date. They are either so horrible that you can't wait for them to be over, or they're so great but you don't want to seem over eager about them on the first meeting. And as the candidate, you wait patiently by the phone for that second call, hoping that you made a great first impression. I'm getting carried away. So yeah, interviewed two girls today. The first one was great. She seemed really sweet, smart and easy for me to control [heh heh]. I would definitely give her a second interview. The next girl was... interesting to say the least. My first impression of her was that she reminded me way too much of our psycho ex-employee from a year ago. Her laugh, her clothes, her demeanor. The kicker was her totally candid response to a question of mine: Me: “Say you have some downtime at work, how would you keep yourself busy?” Her: “Oh, I eat. I like to eat a lot, I’m such a pig. I always have snacks in my desk.” Uhh.. ummm.. Mike and I kinda looked at each other like, okay, well I respect your honesty I suppose? By the end of the interview I was exhausted. I wanted her out of my office. So the first girl wins by default. I liked her though, and we really can't get any worse than what we've got now.

MAY 09, 2005 :: 01:10PM

New RAW FILES entry Jammin' to nothing... feelin' read the entry.

Title: The Flipside.

MAY 08, 2005 :: 10:01AM

Alright, I get it already. Jammin' to nothing... feelin' perturbed.

I've realized that I'm somewhat of a masochist. I let someone drive a knife in my stomach, little by little. Every day I let them push it in even more thinking eventually they'll pull it out and I can begin to close the wound. Well it has gone in so far that it's starting to poke through my other side, and it's really fucking annoying. Instead of saying "ooh, this hurts so much, but why not shove it in a little more" I'm now saying "you know what, this is really starting to piss me off, will you fucking take it out already?" "I'm ready for a girlfriend." "I want to be in a relationship." What kind of cold, tactless person says that to someone whose heart they just left for dead? I wish I had known this person existed in the first place.

MAY 01, 2005 :: 11:39PM

Video Time! Jammin' to my own video, how sad... feelin' accomplished.

I Didn't Know Love Would Break My Heart (6MB 2:25) Right click, save as... Sunday night, feeling creative. Decided to shoot a video of myself playing the piano and singing the song made popular by Jocelyn Enriquez. Well, it's not actually of myself because I had to wrap the camera cord around my neck and let the cam itself rest on my shoulder. If I placed it elsewhere you'd hear too much piano and not enough vocal. Enjoy! You may also send hate mail to meandyou@yomommashouse.com. :D Man, sooner or later the real owner of that email addy is going to hunt me down.

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