April 2004

APRIL 27, 2004 :: 11:59PM

Music selections Jammin' to ... feelin'

Heh, not 5 minutes after putting up the new streaming audio, I get an email asking if this particular song has a personal meaning behind it. No. If it did, it'd have the usual Y icon next to it. I could take snippets of the song and apply them to somebody, but I put the song up simply because I like it. Long day. My room smells like piss. I'm quite aggravated at my puppy for that. But I can't ever stay mad at him for too long. There he is [see current cam pic] playing watch-dog at my door like usual. Damn, it's a good thing I'm not dating him.. err.. if he were human.. because he'd get away with way too much. My nostrils have been bugging me all fucking day. Time to go shower, gob some neosporin up there, and sleep.

APRIL 27, 2004 :: 02:54PM

People are amazing. Jammin' to ... feelin'

Some people seriously make me want to vomit. Well, first laugh uncontrollably in disbelief, then vomit. These are the type of people who lie so much that they begin to believe their own falsifications. Additionally, their minions who hear only one delusional side of the story rally them on which further blurs the lines between lies and reality. I could burn this person so hard if I wanted to. Legally. But you know what, I'll let them be. However if this person makes one attempt to hurt the people I love again, it's on baby. They are going straight to pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Although I'm not so sure that would be considered punishment for them. I'm fired up.

APRIL 25, 2004 :: 11:56PM

Bleh! Jammin' to ... feelin'

I hate you Jasmine! Hahaha... sorry Edmond but that bitch annoys the fuck outta me. I mean come the fuck on, no one can smile THAT much and be happy THAT constantly unless you're a fakey. And if you're not faking it, then you're just not the type of person I'd get along with. Haha, I hate happy people! :D I also cannot stand the way she sings. I liked Camile better. She actually had a style to her voice, not the typical karaoke/filipino wedding/cotillion voice that Jasmine has. It's too bad Camile was a bit weak and sometimes made herself sound like a cat who just used up 8½ of its lives. I guess it didn't help much that she looked like she was swatting flies away from her face while trying to dance either. But I'd rather listen to Camile any day. Now that I've alienated my non-American Idol watching readers... moving on. I think the NBA should change the first round of the playoffs back to a 5-game series. The first round seems soooo long when you think about it. 7 mothafuggin' games?? The second round is probably the most important this year in the West. I dunno about the East, but frankly, who cares about them? :D Alright, I've successfully alienated the non-AI watchers AND non-NBA ..err.. care'ers.. in one single blog. And now I must check on my laundry. Goodnight!

APRIL 23, 2004 :: 10:06PM

Drama in the workplace Jammin' to ... feelin'

I won't get into too much detail for legal reasons, but I'll give you the jist. We finally fired the assistant. From then on things snowballed and with every hour that went by, a new revelation came about. I personally wasn't all that surprised at the things we found out she had done. It doesn't mean they weren't atrocious, because oh boy, they were doozle-dorfers. I've just always had this inkling feeling about her. Shady. Shady, shady, shady. The best part is, when confronted, she profusely denied all accusations even though we had cold, hard proof. Haha, oops. There goes my attempt at sparing you from any details. I shut up now. Suffice to say, I've been sup3r busy at work. Not that I sit on my ass all day otherwise [cough..] but now that we're short-handed I've got to pickup a lot of the slack. My body hates me for it, but to be honest I'm kind of enjoying being totally hands-on when it comes to the day-to-day operations of the office again. I've got the control-freak gene, so even if I'm working so nonstop that I don't even have time to get up and go potty, I feel good about myself at the end of the day. Yeah. I don't remember the NBA playoffs being this blah. What the eff, man. So many blowouts, and even if it is a close game it's only because both teams are equally struggling. Then again it's only the first round. Second round should be veheheherrrry interesting. Very interesting, indeed. [...let's see if we can last. ;) ...]

APRIL 19, 2004 :: 05:14PM

Umm. Jammin' to ... feelin'

I think that entire tin of altoids I consumed yesterday is now biting me in the arse. The messican food couldn't have helped either. I'm alllll kindsa fucked-up today. My clothes don't feel like they fit correctly. Not that they're tight or loose, just.. wrong. My appetite is screwed up. I'm hungry but I'm not. My stomach feels like it's filled to the brim but all I did for lunch was push around the lettuce on my plate. I had two large coffees this morning but I am still yawning like crazy. My nose is stuffed but I don't think I'm sick. My wrists are KILLING me. Feels like my hands are going to explode as I type this. I can't walk straight. Everytime I move my head my neck cracks. And most of all, I'm very nauseous. What the eff, man. I've been a zombie at work for the past two hours. Basically doing absolutely nothing. Ack. Need green advils, stat.

APRIL 19, 2004 :: 12:29AM

Altoid high. Jammin' to ... feelin'

Holy moley. This is the second time I've finished my tin of Altoids Tangerine Sours in one sitting. This shit is like crack!! It's like, you pop one in and you get the bitter-beer sour face for a few seconds, then it's smooth sailing. These tasty little fuckers have got me hooked. Much like my addiction to this certain person. Heh, could be an expensive habit. I'd love to write more, except it's past midnight, I just got home from visiting the parentals in San Diego, have an early workday tomorrow, and I'm in need of massabation. Goodnight!

APRIL 15, 2004 :: 11:22PM

My shit don't stink. Jammin' to ... feelin'

You know that saying commonly used to describe someone who acts high and mighty? It goes something like "she acts like her shit don't stink." Well... The other day at work I had a wicked bowel movement. Or, what I thought would be a wicked one. I grabbed the bathroom key and headed for the ladies room. Bah, there were two other women in there chatting away. This means I have to sit in my stall and clench my butt cheeks tightly, as to not accidentally let it get away from me causing a loud and embarrassing noise. Not to mention the smell. I clenched, and clenched and felt like it was going to come out of a different orifice eventually if I didn't let loose soon. I felt some gas building up in my abdomen, trying to power its way out. My gluteus maximus remained strong and sealed. Finally, the bitches leave. I hear the door open and close and their voices trail off into the hallway. It was silent in the room but I wanted to make sure I was alone, so I poked my head out of the stall. Coast was clear. I let freedom ring in my rear and let out one of those audible but benign [as opposed to silent but deadly] farts. It was all air, making a funny noise while exiting. Just like I sat on a whoopie cushion. Hmm, I thought that was going to be a crazy stanky one. I then did the rest of my business on the throne. Nice and easy. I cleaned and zipped up, and noticed the absence of a certain stench. Sniff sniff. Hmmm. Sniff sniff. I checked the toilet. Yep, I definitely dropped the kids off at the pool. So, why doesn't it smell? Really, not only was there no shit smell, it actually smelled nice in there. Interesting. Interesting indeed. So, on that particular day I was able to say that, "my shit don't stink."

APRIL 13, 2004 :: 05:42PM

OMG GO AWAY Jammin' to ... feelin'

New boss is sitting in front of my desk. He doesn't get that I'm not interested in engaging in conversation. He just keeps staring. Sitting. Not saying anything for long periods of time. He will not go away. He is flipping his pen opened and closed. I haven't looked at him ONCE and he insists on sitting here. Now he is asking me how fast I type. I am still giving short answers. Still not going away. Help. Help.. Hel.... He.. h.....

APRIL 11, 2004 :: 01:42AM

GRRR to T-mobile Jammin' to ... feelin'

Mini rant for the evening. Just spent an hour on the phone with T-mobile customer service. I wanted to change my number. Guy comes on the line and tells me that I can't pick my own number, it's randomly generated. Fine whatever, I say. Just tell me the number before you change it. He says ok. Then he says "because we might get disconnected after this number is changed, do you have any other questions I can help you with?" I say "you're going to tell me the number before you change it right?" Yes, of course he says. Then he says "okay, your new mobile number is 818.205.xxxx." I said, umm, I don't like that number, I think I'm just gonna keep mine. He paused and said "oh, you don't like it?" Then we got disconnected. GRRR. I call T-mobile back and put in my old cell # and it says invalid. GRRRRR. LUCKILY I can memorize phone numbers after only hearing them once, so I put in the new craptacular number he gave me and lo and behold it worked. Motha effer. After about 5 minutes a nice lady came on the line and I told her what happened and asked if it's possible for her to find me some easy numbers that I can choose from. She said yes and found a really neat-o and easy number for me. She tried to change it but it wouldn't go through because that mother effer before her already changed it. Her only advice was to wait a couple days and try again, but probably no way I'll get that same number she found, or even a cooperative customer service rep. GRRRRR. I dial my new number and it's not working. Dial my old number and it's not working. GRRR. Dial my home phone from my cell and the old number still shows up on caller ID. wtf mate. I called T-mobile AGAIN to see what was going on. This time I was lucky to get a competent-sounding rep on the phone. Told her what was going on and she actually knew how to help me. Shocker. She told me that in a couple hours, the new number that first guy changed it to should work. Then, about 48 hours after that, my old number should work again since she put a reverse-change thingamajigg through. After I get my old number back, I can call T-mobile back and change it to a number I want. So right now my phone numbers are in cell phone purgatory, floating around somewhere. Why do I have to be so picky about my phone number. GRRRRRRRR.

APRIL 08, 2004 :: 10:48PM

New RAW FILES entry Jammin' to ... feelin'

Title: Hurts so good. (e-mail for access.)

APRIL 06, 2004 :: 03:38PM

HOLY FUCK. Jammin' to ... feelin'

How many fucking times do I have to hear about my new boss's volunteer fireman event this weekend?!?!! I've heard this mothafugga tell the story so many gotdamn times I can write a damn book about it. My new boss is a volunteer fireman, and they had some sort of challenge/competition this weekend. OooOOOoooOooh, his team won first place even though they only practiced once, while the other teams have been training since January. OoooOOooOOoohh, his team was only expecting to gain experience from it, but ooOOOOOoooh they ended up taking the trophies home. Shiet, I'd hate to be rescued by the other teams then. He's told at least 3/4s of the office, individually [meaning I've heard the story about 8 times in the office alone], and every fucking person who has called his cell phone. And that's a lot. I always cringe everytime I overhear him start his sentences with "you know what's funny, is that we were only expecting to gain experience..." blah blah blah blah, SHUT UP!! Write a damn mass email or something! Quit fucking jabbering away on company time about your fucking Real World/Road Rules challenge. Shit! FUCK!! DaMN!! BALL LICKER PUSSY FACE SHIT SHIT!! And check this out, he even drives a bright red truck. I didn't think anything of it until my coworker [my partner in crime, who is also quite perturbed at the new boss] pointed out that ooOOOoooOOoh, since he's a volunteer fireman, he's gotta have a red car. WTF?! The fucker ACTUALLY uses that as an excuse for the honkin' red truck. HAHA. This morning he parked in a space that is not even a parking spot. I told my coworker and he said, "remember Mae, he's gotta park there cuz that's where the fire trucks park." HAHAH OH MAN. Comedy. Bastard.

APRIL 05, 2004 :: 11:10AM

New RAW FILES entry Jammin' to ... feelin'

Title: INSERT HUGE SMILE HERE (e-mail for access.)

APRIL 01, 2004 :: 09:52PM

Last entry... Jammin' to ... feelin'

The previous entry has been closed and will be reopened upon my return to LA. ;]

APRIL 01, 2004 :: 11:57AM

So now that I'm all cheery... Jammin' to ... feelin'

...the sun decides to stay in hiding. AUDIT TIME IS ALMOST OVER! ::bigsigh:: Oh man, I thought it would never end. We've got anxious stockholders breathing down our necks, again, waiting for important documents to complete their personal tax returns. I think we're 90% done. After this I'm going to take a VACATION! Heh. April Fools, Mae. The "new" cooking, cleaning, money-saving machine Mae is working out quite well. Yesterday I went to Bed, Baff and Beyond and Target to only pick up the necessities. I even made out a shopping list. Bath rugs, shampoo, conditioner, swiffer pads, sink savers and sponges. I ended up getting a little bit more than that but am happy to say I walked out of both stores spending less than $200 total. Plus, I have something that I need to return worth $50. I don't know what it is about those damn places but I usually never get out of there before signing off on a $300-400 credit card receipt. EVIL. Also a result of the money-saving thing, I settled for a ramen noodle dinner last night. Okay, I really would have gone out and bought something but I thought I only had $5 in my wallet. Turns out I had $25. Ahh well, more money saved. Hooray. I guess I'm making up for it today, though, because the office ordered P.F. Changs white-ified Chinese food. I got my regular Kung Pao yicken, lettuce wraps, and splurged and got some banana spring rolls. MMMMM, white-ified/Chinese style toron!

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