current time is 9:11:55 PM
listening to >>> "broken promise ring" by the ataris
I'M SO TIRED! *phew* I went with my friends to California Speedway early early early this morning at 6am to do some racing. I didn't race of course, my car only has about 600 miles on it. There were so many cars that looked exactly like mine at the track :o( I hate not being original. Well anyway, it was a damn long day and I even got a tan. Bleh.
So now I'm just downloading some songs of KaZaA. I need to replenish my CD collection since all 80+ of my CDs got stolen along with my car. Boo. A lot of my crap was in that freakin' car. Enough of that. I'm starting to get all feelings over my car again. Heh.
I've got two new websites in the works. One is for a bunch of my friends and the other is one which I hope to gain some revenue off of (no, it is not one of those sites where you have to be over 18 to legally browse through it.)
Toodles.
_end session :: archives :: signage
current time is 10:16:24 PM
listening to >>> "i miss you" by incubus
Wow... life sucks right now. Last night I had another argument with the boyf. He has not been happy with me for a few days now, so I told him I would give him his space. Today is the first full day of "space" and it's so hard to control myself from picking up the phone and calling him. I'm so sad. Last night when we got off the phone I was just angry. EXTREMELY angry. It's evolving into depression again. When you talk to someone for so many hours a day, every single day, everything starts to remind you of that person. I can't turn on the TV... or browse the internet... or listen to music without thinking of him. I can't even walk around my apartment without being reminded of him. It's an unimaginable pain... this whole heartbreak business. You feel a weight on your chest, and it sometimes lingers into the pit of your stomach. It hurts so fucking bad. I've been heartbroken once before, but this one seems just so much more intense. I think it is because he lives so far away and we can't talk it out with each other in person. I feel so helpless. I have no one to turn to right now... it makes me wish so much that I was back home with my family just so that I didn't feel lonely. I don't even want to be around people who are happy. I'm selfishly wishing that everyone would feel the same pain I do.
I've cried every night for the past week. Just when I thought I could cry enough one night to use up all my tears so that I wouldn't have to spend another night crying myself to sleep....... I cry again. And again. I feel like I have been left for dead.
_end session :: archives :: signage
current time is 7:57:55 PM
listening to >>> "my heart can't take much more" by changing faces
I'm in a shitty, shitty, shitty mood. I get really frustrated when people tell me they feel one thing, but act another way. I've always believed that actions speak louder than words... so right now I am only seeing the actions. No matter what this person says to me to try to reassure me of their feelings, I cannot help but feel the opposite. It's hurts so bad being confused. I just wish this person would realize how much their actions are hurting me. Well maybe this person knows... but just doesn't really give a shit. Very possible as well.
_end session :: archives :: signage
current time is 11:41:15 PM
listening to >>> "stellar" by incubus
I just got home from visiting my parents in San Diego.... damn I hate driving that far! I'm still getting used to my new car. Oh yeah, I haven't talked about it yet huh, well I finally bought a new car a couple days before New Years. It's a black 2001 Honda Prelude 5spd. I'm still getting used to it. I miss my GS-R, but ahh well, gotta move on. I'd post a picture of it, but right now it looks just like any other black prelude you'd see on the road. Not for long though! I am hoping to make this my new project car. Maybe turbo? Maybe umm... nitrous? Who knows. :p Probably not nitrous though, since I do not plan to spend a lot of time at the drag strip. But anyways, moving right along.
Well, ever since I got back from Florida, my relationship has been in the shitter. That would explain my "extreme depression" I had mentioned in a previous entry. Now everything seems to be ok. We still have to talk it out a little more tomorrow, maybe. I hope it works out... wish me luck. :o)
What else.. what else... it's so cold in my apartment!! BrrRRRrRRrRrr.. I already have the heater on but it's not helping at all. This weather is making me sick, literally. I took Nyquil on Saturday night at 11pm and I didn't wake up till 3pm the next day. That shit knocked me out. I wish I could have taken some home, because now I can't sleep. Doh, actually I might not wake up to go to work tomorrow sooo bad plan.
The Wedding Planner with J.FatLo is on right now, bye bye!
_end session :: archives :: signage