9.23.2000

current time is 4:55:07 PM
In all my self-pity wallowing, I forgot to wish SEXY LEXY a happy birthday! He just turned 21 on the, coincidently, 21st of September. Happy belated berfday my friend. Man I wish it was my damn birthday already. Well yeah ok I'm gonna go do some stuff and yeah... so I'll write more tomorrow or later tonight if I'm home. Ok bye!
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9.22.2000

current time is 8:34:52 PM
Well my good mood streak is over. *sigh* I just got home from my ex's house. I didn't actually go in, we just talked in my car for a little bit. I told him it was about that time that we really really broke up for good. You see, he has this mentality that we're always gonna be together forever and a day. I used to have that mentality too. It's just that when I look at him, I don't feel anything for him. It's not for any other reason besides that. I simply do not love him anymore. Why not? Because after four years of non stop fighting and drama it starts to get to you. I finally woke up. So yeah... I started to cry. He started to cry. I was feeling emotional because I knew this was it. I knew this day would mark the end of our relationship. I guess the tears flowing out of my eyes resembled the stress being released from my body. So he got out of the car, I started my engine, and took off. Do you know how hard it is to drive at night with your eyes all watery? Pretty hard.

By the time I had arrived at my house I stopped crying. I just don't want my mom to be all up on my nutz wondering why I was crying. She always did that whenever Jerry and I [my ex] had a fight. I'd be yelling and cussing so loud on the phone that my parents could hear, but I didn't really care since I was always so mad. Those days are over now. It's a bittersweet ending I tell ya.

My body is aching all over. ALL over. My legs hurt, my back hurts, my neck and shoulders hurt and I have a bruise on my abdomen right under my left breast. It's right on my rib too so it freakin hurts when I press it. All I wanted to do when I got home was lie down and sleep. But then I had to take my bro to a football game at the high school and then I didn't want to go home after that. That's when I stopped by my ex's place.

I wanna go to Anaheim tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'll have my car though. Ack. I'd take my mom's but then she'll notice the nice 100+ miles I put on her car in one day. What to do, what to do...? Ahh oh well. I don't wanna think about anything right now cuz I'm soooo tired and stressed out and blah blah blah. Ok well I'm gonna eat dinner, work a couple layouts and then crash. I might feel the urge to blog some more later, but goodnight for now.
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current time is 9:12:13 AM
Wow a record two days in a row that I'm in a good mood. Enjoy it while you can folks, cuz this doesn't happen all too often. Well I guess it's because it's Friday and I can finally relax. Hopefully I'll be able to take my car to the shop this weekend. Oh and I also have to return my jeans before my thirty day return time limit is up. I hope it's not gonna be hot. I kinda like this gloomy weather. It means that my birthday is coming up!

My crush came down to visit me I didn't get home until 1:30 am last night. Hey, I know some of you stay out all hours of the night but that's late for me. Hehe. I'm surprised my mom wasn't paging me or calling my cell. We didn't do much. We drove all the way to La Jolla only to turn around and drive all the way back to Mira Mesa. Then we went to the bank to get some cash, and then to Edwards 18 to see if anything good was playing. Nope. Nothing good was playing so we got back into the car and drove to this park by my house. This cop kept driving by flashing lights at us and it was getting pretty annoying. Anyway yeah, when I got home my parents were already asleep. It's still kinda weird that they didn't call to check up on me. I'll probably hear it from them later when I get home.

I have an appointment with my gynecologist this afternoon. I might actually take off work at around 4 if my schedule permits. I highly doubt it though but it's worth a try. I just don't wanna run into all the traffic going down south. Ack. I sooo hate traffic.

Ok that's all. Bye!
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9.21.2000

current time is 8:47:30 AM
Whooaaa I feel cool. Lee, one of my lovely hostees, sat down with me [err... well I was sitting down and he probably was too at the time] and interviewed me. He made a little banner collage thingie and it kinda looks like I'm dancing or hugging that naked anime chick on my site. Is that some sort of subliminal message? Yeah, you know that all-too-typical male fantasy of a girl-on-girl thing. Hahaha I'm just kidding Lee. Great job on the new layout by the way!

Oh yeah, pardon my mood swing last night. I was just sad for a little bit. I went out to eat though and drove around for a bit then I felt better. I'm telling you, when you're stressed, drive around and you'll feel better. It's free therapy I tell ya. Well.. unless of course you live in San Diego where the gas prices fuck you up the ass.

Oh yeah. Remember those damn address labels I was making yesterday? Well I was working on it.. then finally at around 4 o'clock I was finished. Then my boss calls me and says "Oh Mae, it turns out we're not gonna need those labels today". ACK! Well, we're still gonna need them but the point is I was stressing about finishing them and then we weren't even gonna use them that day. Blah. Well that's one less thing I have to do today.

I DYED my hair yesterday. The color in my highlights was getting to be a bit too blonde and yucky. Now my hair is dark burgundy. I think this color goes better with my skin tone anyway. Blonde + Me = Bleh. My streaks don't stand out as much anymore though =\ but it's alright. It doesn't look bad for a job that I did myself. I tell you, my hair is a fucking BITCH to dye. It's freakin' thick and long [well not that long anymore, but you know] and dark red hair dye always gets all over the place.

Well I shall get back to work. Bye!
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9.20.2000

current time is 10:18:46 PM
*sigh* I'm sad. =(
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current time is 9:17:16 AM
I had a weird ass dream this morning. I was Eminem's girlfriend [oh lord] and I was spending the night at his house. In the morning he had to go to school or something so I stayed at his place home alone. I started to watch MTV and his video for "Stan" came on. [Stan isn't even released so no, he doesn't really have a video for it] The video was kinda freakin me out so I turned it off. I was walking around his house and when I walked into the living room there was this little baby sitting on the couch. Uhh.. ok. The baby started talking to me like it was a grown adult and I was just chatting away like it was normal. Umm and then Eminem's dad came home and was like "WTF? Who the hell are you?" and I'm like "I'm Eminem's girlfriend!" Hahaha.. and then I woke up.

There's a shareholders meeting today. I have to send out a bunch of these dumb ass press kits to all hundred or so of them. Everyone is so crabby and uptight this morning because of this big meeting. It's supposed to be a very very important meeting. Hell I even had to dress up. Well, at least look presentable. My back has been killing me for the past two days. This is what my whole day looks like so far: sitting on this uncomfortable chair and typing out a hundred mailing labels. I don't think I'll be able to make it to the end of the day. During lunch I'm gonna crawl under my desk and take a nap. But nah, I don't wanna look like a moron so I won't. I need a massage. Any volunteers?
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9.19.2000

current time is 7:47:13 PM
Man I'm getting tired of hot pockets. My mom bought a whole box of them so I've been eating them like crazy. I just had another one for dinner [second night in a row] and now my stomach freakin' hurts. Ok that's it, no more hot pockets for me.
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current time is 8:43:31 AM
There's this T intersection right by my house that I pass by everyday. I'm on the main road so the intersecting road has to yield for me right? Then why don't these fuckers obey the fucking law? Almost every single time I pass by that intersection, another car comes flying by into my lane without even fucking looking to see if anyone is coming. WTF is wrong with these people? Do they have a death wish or something? This morning I when I passed by it this guy in a Ford Expedition who thinks he's a race car driver completely ignores that it's my fucking right of way and almost hits me. It's a good thing I'm aware of the idiots that tend to do that so I was cautious when approaching the intersection. It just makes me mad that these people can be so fucking rude and UNSAFE for that matter.

There are a couple of other things that contributed to my bad mood this morning. I woke up late and my stomach wasn't feeling so good. I think it was the hot pocket I ate last night. Oh yeah and I got my cell phone bill. Fifty something bucks and some odd cents. My plan is only around thirty bucks. It's cuz I've been calling long distance on my phone which costs 15 a freakin' minute. Just imagine how high my house phone bill is gonna be. Ack!

Oh, hey Aivs, I was watching the 2GE+HER [2gether] video this morning while I was getting ready for work. I love that show. It's so freakin' hilarious. Their songs are funny too. My favorite is Chad Linus "the Shy one". Hahah he's so cute. Jerry "the Heartthrob" is cute too. Mickey Parke is freakin' funny when he's acting all ghetto. QT "the Cute one" is ok, but his lips are a little too red for my taste. Doug Linus "the Older Brother".. ehh no comment. Heh.

So anyways, I think I'm starting to get the sniffles. There's been some germs floating around in the office. Most everyone has gotten sick already except me. Ack. I hate being sick. I can hardly breathe and my nose gets so congested that I can hardly speak clearly. Must.. stay... healthy..

Today is the "anniversary". He paged me this morning but I didn't call back. I don't want to lead him on but I still want to be his friend. We had a good friendship. We're like best friends ya know? *sigh* I dunno what to do anymore.
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current time is 12:30:50 AM
Whoa AOL has a new feature. When you switch screen names it shows which screen names have mail and exactly how much mail you have. That's freakin' cool. Well, it's cool to me. =\

Umm no progress on the new layout tonight. I slept for most of the afternoon and my brother was online when I woke up. Now that I've got the computer to myself I'm a bit lazy. Yeah, so what else is new right?

Ok goodnight.
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9.18.2000

current time is 11:26:31 AM
There's this guy. We have a lot in common. So much that it gets kinda weird sometimes. There were a couple times where I answered his question before he even asked, and vice versa. It's not like me to get attached to someone so fast. Wait let me rephrase that, it is like me to get attached to someone fast. However, it's not like me to actually let myself get attached.

As you already know I was involved in a long painful relationship for four years. The logical thing for me to do is to stay single for a while and not think about relationships or significant others. The logical thing for me to do is to enjoy my freedom since I was practically tied down for most of my teenage life. The logical thing for me to do is relax and get my life in order before I let another relationship consume me. But I never listen to the good angel on my shoulder, do I?

It's a little too late now though. I like this guy. I think I'd feel weird if I stopped talking to him anytime soon. He's sorta like a part of my daily routine now. Go to work, write my daily blog, talk to him until he goes to school, work, eat lunch, talk to him when he gets home from school, go home from work, do whatever I need to do that day, talk to him before we go to sleep, and so on. I've been unhappy for so long and I think I deserve to be happy for once.

So there you have it. I'm listening to the devil on my shoulder. >=)
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current time is 8:41:02 AM
I can't talk [type] much this morning. I have a temp coming in to help me collate some of the press kits we need to send out to all the shareholders. I'm a little tired. I didn't go to sleep until about 2:30-3am because I was busy talking to my bebe. I didn't get up till 7:05 but I managed to yet again make it to work 10 minutes early. I'm just cool like that huh. Uh huh.. right Mae.

Tomorrow is what would have been our 47th month anniversary. Do I miss him? Nah. Do I ever want to go back with him? Nah. That's old news. I know for a fact he's gonna drop by unannounced tomorrow whether I want him to or not. I hate when people do that to me. It's so rude. He is still my friend though. I'll probably hang out with him for a little bit just to make him happy.

I broke a freakin' nail man. My nails are all nice and long too and the middle one on my right hand chipped so I had no choice but to cut it. Now I have to cut the rest of them to avoid looking ghetto.

So anyways I worked on the new layout yesterday! Yes I actually got something done finally. Last month I released a layout for like 3 hours and took it down because I hated it so much. There was one section of the layout that I was really proud of though so I kept it and stemmed a new design from that one. I've only finished the biodome section so it won't be up for at least another week.

Ok the temp is here gotta go!
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9.17.2000

current time is 12:55:14 PM
I'm watching the Olympics right now. The USA and China Basketball teams are playing. The score is 45-79 with about 12 minutes left to go in the second half. It's so NOT exciting to watch. If anything I feel really sorry for China because they're trying their hardest but they can't seem to get passed USA defense. They make all their free throws though, so at least you know they can in fact shoot. You can tell they're really working hard. Hahah... poor guys. 50-91 with 9 minutes left to go..

I know most of you guys don't give a rat's ass about the Olympics but I actually like to watch the games. It's all about pride for your country ya know? Yeah, I know most of you guys also don't give a rat's ass about your country but I happen to like it here. Why do you think everyone from other countries try so hard to come here and make a living here? Because it's a country with a lot of opportunities. Sure, there are some fucked up laws and corrupt politicians, but I guarantee you it's nothing like the corruption you'd find elsewhere. I'm not saying that the USA is the best country in the world, but it's sure as hell not as bad as some of you make it out to be. I haven't done anything wrong to the USA so the USA hasn't done anything wrong to me.

Anyway, I'm going to yet another baby shower today. God I swear I go to more baby showers than birthday parties lately. What's up with all my girls having babies?! *sigh* Well at least all of them have kept their kids and are still supporting them. More power to you because I can hardly support myself, much less another human being.

I woke up this morning and no one was home again. Same thing happened to me yesterday. It's weird and I get all disoriented like.. where am I? Ehh ok. Well I'm gonna get dressed and find something to eat. I'm still online though so if you try to IM me and I don't respond it's cuz I'm away from the computer. K bye!
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