current time is 2:23:16 PM
Today is my mom's birthday. I totally forgot. Hahah she said "Hey guys we're eating out tonight" and my brother and I were like "for what?" Hahah that's messed up. I thought we were going to LA but I guess not. Ahh oh well.
Have you ever seen that movie Dead Poets Society? I read the book in high school and did a thesis paper on it. I love that movie. It's so sad in the end... I won't spoil it for you but I really suggest you watch it and read the book. I'm not really a bookworm kinda gal but I enjoyed that one. Well yeah the movie was on HBO today and it still makes me tear up everytime I watch it.
Oh I bet you're wondering what type of mood I'm in today. Hmm. Calm. Mellow. Relaxed. Wait I take that back. My mom just barged in my room and started bitching at me again. Now I'm just plain annoyed. It's her freakin' birthday and I WANT to be nice to her but I just can't! She needs to take out whatever the fuck crawled up her ass for at least one day. Ack! I can't wait until the day I can finally move out of here.
My ex went camping for the weekend. It's so weird how we're not going out and can't really get along well but we still talk to each other daily. We have one of the weirdest relationships I tell ya. I bet you're all so damn confused huh. I sure as hell am.
I'm gonna work on the evolution site now. Bye!
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current time is 10:27:47 PM
I had a Krispy Kreme doughnut today. I must say I am quite disappointed. It's not as good as I thought it would be. I'm a donut lover too. Well, it doesn't taste bad, it just doesn't live up to the hype in my opinion. Ahh oh well.
I went to the hair salon after work. I spent 59 bucks high lighting my hair. 59 well spent bucks though. I felt so bad for the gal doing my hair because she didn't finish until 8:45 at night. The shop closes at like 7:30. Oops. Oh well I needed some color in my hair. It was getting to be too black. I wish I had a digicam or something so I could post pictures regularly just like some folks. Sadly I'm poor. Maybe I'll ask this one cool dude who works at Best Buy to get me one? Haha. ;)
Wow I freakin' wrote a shitload today. A lot has been happening in my life for a change. My sister came down from LA today. Ugh I hate having to share bathrooms with her because she's always in it whenever I need to use it. She uses all my shampoo/conditioner too! Ack! As you can probably tell I do NOT like to share. That's right, I'm stingy, so sue me.
Ok damn that's enough blogging for a day. More stuff tomorrow. Goodnight!
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current time is 3:17:54 PM
Ok I'm bored. It's the Friday right before a long weekend so naturally I don't have much to do. I don't think I've done 30 minute's work the whole day. I've been mostly surfing the net looking for toys for my car. By the way, I examined my front right fender and everything seems to be in tact. Well my tire looks kinda jacked but still driveable. It's all scratched up, nothing major. Thank GOD it's not lowered yet or else that would have damaged something underneath my car. Yikes. From now on I'm going to be the most careful driver I can be. Yeah right. But it's worth a try.
I noticed a lot of sites have turned their whole theme into just a blog thingie. I mean sure there are other sections, but the blog is what's usually most updated. The rest of the site is more of an accessory. Well when I release my new layout I'm going to try my hardest to make all the sections frequently updated. Maybe once a week or so. Wish me luck.
Damn I feel lonely. Wanna make me un-lonely? Mail me ;)
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current time is 1:42:26 PM
I HATE TELEMARKETERS WHO CALL EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY! I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS SO GET THE FUCKING POINT ALREADY! IF YOU ARE A TELEMARKETER HERE'S A TIP: QUIT YOUR FUCKING LAME ASS NO-BRAIN-REQUIRED JOB AND FIND ONE THAT ISN'T SO GAHDAMN ANNOYING!
*breathe*
I'm ok now.
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current time is 8:49:20 AM
It's time to play "Guess What Mood Mae's In Today"
Well a shitty one at that. I almost got into a major car accident yesterday. Major meaning people could have been killed or seriously injured. For the record, it wasn't my fault. Nevertheless, my dad is pissed off and I am not talking to anyone in my family right now. I locked myself in my room last night and didn't come out until this morning. I really don't want to get into details right now.
The feelings I have for my ex are gone. I don't love him in that way anymore. When I talk to him on the phone or see him, I just don't feel the chemistry. Have you ever heard that song "Why Does It Hurt So Bad" by Whitney Houston? It's off of the Waiting To Exhale soundtrack. It's so beautiful and it sums up everything that I'm feeling right now. The song basically is saying... I'm over you and I don't love you anymore, but why am I still hurting? Get it? *sigh* Yeah that's me. I don't know why I'm so depressed right now. I guess that hour or so that I was happy [see last post] was just a fling. I'm truly depressed and I don't know what to do with myself. Ugh can I BE anymore pathetic??!?
Anyway I was 25 minutes late for work this morning. Why? Because I faxed in my fucking donut order YESTERDAY telling them to have it ready by 7:30 am TODAY and when I got there they looked at me like I was speaking another language. "Oh it's not ready yet" the girl says. I look at the clock. It was 7:45 am. They had 15 minutes extra and it still wasn't ready. Ack. Whatever. That was just a wonderful start to my day.
My jeans are too big for me. They keep falling off but luckily my ass is large enough to hold it up. They're too long too. I'm actually wearing my Nike Air Metal Max III shoes today. They're so clean, I think I've worn them a total of 8 times. They were a gift from my ex last Christmas. Haha it always reminds me of the song "Bugaboo" cuz of the part that goes "So what, you bought a pair of shoes, what now I guess you think I owe you?" *sigh* Memories. Ok enough song references for one day aight. Geez Mae.
Well I've got a long weekend to look forward to. I really want to go to Anaheim for *ahem* some reason. In case I can't I'm going to work on Evolution's new layout. It's gonna be so cool! Huh Ro? Hehe. If I feel like it I might even work on a new layout for THIS site. Yep you heard me right!!! PhayzeONE will be a complete site pretty soon! Yahoooo! Ehh ok why am I so excited about that. Oh yeah, do you think I should post my archives? E-mail me and let me know what you think alrighty? Well I must go now. This entry is getting long! Bye!
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current time is 2:41:31 PM
Yay! I'm not sad anymore! My crush called me at work today and all of a sudden I got all happy and shit. See I told you I'm having major mood swingage. Hehe. OH and you know what else? I used to never say "HEHE" because to me it always sounded like a ditzy little valley girl giggle. I would always say "HAHA". But ever since I started talking to my crush I've been giggling HEHEs all over the place. Err that wasn't relevant but I wanted to mention it anyway.
*YAAAWWNNN* I don't get it. I've been getting good sleep lately but I'm still tired as fuck. Maybe I should start practicing normal sleeping habits. You know, like 8 hours of sleep per night. Instead I get like 3 hours on the weekdays and 12 hours on the weekdays. I figure it should balance out. Haha but no that's not healthy. Sleep deprivation is an illness! Now it's official, I need professional help.
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current time is 12:22:39 PM
Did I mention that I'm sad? Oh. Pardon me while I wallow in self-pity.
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current time is 9:24:10 AM
Um OK now that Aivy isn't depressed anymore, now I'm fucking depressed. God I swear I've been having major mood swings lately. I'm not on my rag either. Even when I am on my rag I don't have this much swingage. Ack!
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current time is 8:31:55 AM
I am in a very antisocial mood. This morning when I was waiting for the elevator I heard some other people coming to wait too and for some reason I just got irritated. I wanted to be in the elevator by myself. I didn't want to have to stand close to anyone. That elevator is MINE gahdamnit! *breathe*
My ex came over last night. We talked for a while in his car and then went to eat at Denny's. Something happened that night that has never happened before. I looked at him and I came to a realization... I'm not in love with him anymore. The feelings are gone. I'm over him. It's taken so long for this to finally happen. It kinda makes me sad that after 3 years and 10 looooong months we are at the end of the chapter. *sigh* Well nothing lasts forever. At one point you may think it will, but it won't.
I got paid last night. BTW, I need to check my balance real quick. Ok cool. I feel rich dude. Well not really since I won't be officially financially stable until next pay period. I still have to pay my mom back for a few things so this money will go quickly. Unfortunately.
This weekend is going to be a big birthday weekend. My grandma's birthday is tomorrow, my mom's is on Sunday and my brother's is on Tuesday. I think we're going out of town to visit relatives but I'm not quite certain. I really hope we don't have to take my car again. Probably not though cuz my mom will get mad that we're racking up the mileage. Oh yeah! I reached the 2000 mark! I think my actual reading is like 2015mi or something. Aww my poor car is getting old. Hahah jp.
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current time is 8:51:06 AM
I saw a cutie on the road again today. We were following each other for the most part of my route. We kept trying to pass each other but sadly I got stuck behind some big dump truck and he zoomed off. I eventually caught up to him though but he had to turn left and I was going straight. As I passed by him he did that little tweeting alarm thing at me. I looked back at him smiled. *sigh* Why did he have to turn? Haha damn I'm so bad.
We have an oh-so-important company wide meeting today. I wonder what that's gonna be like. Well at least I'll be able to get away from my desk. I'm beginning to not even see my desk anymore since there's so much paperwork and files and such on it. Ahh oh well.
I'm in desperate need of a cable/dsl modem. I don't know. ANYTHING. My connection at home is so gahdamn slow and it's just plain annoying. I heard that cable is better [I don't know why, I just heard] but AOL has this dsl program that's cheaper than others. Hmm. Well there's a trial period so there isn't any harm in just checking it out first. I'll do that. Ok bye.
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current time is 11:00:36 AM
Ah! My internet is back! I'm so happy hahah now I won't get any work done. I swear you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Damn I'm pathetic being all dramatic about losing my internet. Now that I have it back I don't have the desire to surf. I don't have much to say right now except shame on you who stopped visiting me!! =( My average daily hits are going down. It used to be like 100+ somethin but now it's only 98. Maybe it's because I'm so boring. Doh.
My boss is soooo freakin' nice to me. When we went to lunch yesterday we were just talking about past jobs and stuff. I told her about my school situation and get this - she gave me most of the afternoon off! She's all "That's it Mae you're going home early today"..Hahah she even sent me a musical e-card telling me to get my ass home. She's a dope boss dude. She isn't here this morning though. She doesn't feel too good so I'm gonna send her a card too.
*whew* This morning was pretty hectic. We had a couple investment bankers in to see Lou [our CEO] but he's out sick as well. It wasn't too pretty. Then they started to piss me off when they thought I was some kind of waitress. "Can we get some drinks in here?" he says. EW! Whatever dude that's why I got out of the food business. Haha. Dumbasses.
Once again I send my thanks to those who took the time to e-mail me with your support. I mean, even if it's bullshit, at least you were nice enough to do so. Heh. I've been meaning to answer your e-mails but I haven't gotten around to it yet. I lag when it comes to responding to guestbook entries and emails so bare with me folks. I used to be real good about that kinda thing but I dunno. Laziness strikes.
Yikes when I move my wrist back and forth I hear an odd cracking sound. It's not painful but it's just a little sore. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome I tell ya. My mom has it, I'm starting to get the symptoms of it. I can't grip things as well and I start to get shooting pains up and down my arms all the way to my shoulders.
*pause for my wrist exercises* Ok well I should go. My wrists are starting to throb.
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current time is 6:47:49 PM
Okay I still don't have an internet connection at work so I'm going to
e-mail myself today's thoughts so that I do not forget them. I am so
sleepy. I think this is the sleepiest I have ever been. My head keeps
rolling forward and jerks up as soon as I realize I'm falling asleep. When
I open my eyes I'm delirious and don't know where the hell I am. Oh what
I'd give to lie down and take a nap right now. Oh geezus I did it again.
I'm tryin to keep myself awake with a cup of coffee but alas it's doing no
good. I would go home but then I have a lunch date with the boss. I don't
wanna miss that, I've been wondering what this would be like.
So why am I so sleepy this time around? I didn't sleep at all last night.
I took a nap during the day and then I talked to my friend for a long ass
time until about 3am. I tried to fall asleep afterwards but I couldn't. So
around 4:30am I decided to get up and go to the gym. I stayed at the gym
for about 45 minutes then left. I didn't want to go home yet so I drove
around some more [it's therapy I'm tellin ya] and listened to some slow
jams. I went back home at around 6am.
I'm definitely going to crash as soon as I get home after work. I
supposedly have class tonight but you know the story. I'll probably break
the news to my mom tonight. Wish me luck. If I don't blog for a while,
send help. Haha jp. It won't be that bad. [Keep telling yourself that,
Mae.]
Maybe it's these slow jams I'm listening to. They're not exactly
"keep-me-awake" songs. Oh well it's the only CD I brought today. Damn I'm
dozing off again. Ugh I need to wake my ass up. I'm gonna go take a ten
minute break or something.
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current time is 2:34:12 PM
I've made a decision. I'm moving on. I haven't got the time to deal with any bullshit right now from my ex. Although I know I'll occasionally think of him and miss him, and I will indefinitely always love him, it's time for a change. *sigh* By the way thanks to all of you who have e-mailed me with your support. I really needed it. =]
I'm supposed to be cleaning my room right now. My room is a mess and if my mom comes in here and sees me on the computer instead of cleaning it I swear all hell will break loose. Luckily she's sleeping right now. You know what I think I've had more than enough of my share of bitching for the weekend. I have no idea what decided to crawl up my mom's ass and set up camp there. Gaaaahhhd I'm stressed out. I still haven't told her that I quit school.
I hope my internet connection is there to greet me when I return to work on Monday. I swear I do not know what I will do without it. Friday was so boring cuz everyone left to go to the Del Mar Fair Grounds and I stayed behind. I couldn't go online so I was stuck playing pin ball all afternoon long. God that game gets boring after 2 hours. Oh yeah I'm having lunch with my boss on Monday. That should be interesting.
Oh yeah, remember that encounter I had with one of the VPs eating my donut off my fingers? Ack it happened again. This time I was leaning on my desk eating a donut and he walks in. He starts asking me about some reports and mid-sentence he stops and extends his hand towards my chest. It was as if the whole thing was happening in slow motion. He proceeded to reach for my chest and picked off a piece of glaze on my left breast. Then he smiled and walked away. Haha I guess this one wasn't as bad as the last one but it still kinda shook me up a little bit. Now I'm like walking on egg shells everytime I'm around him. Ack.
I had a chat with my bitch last night and we're both extremely sex deprived. HAHAHAH he's gonna kill me now for saying that. *sigh* Well I'm gonna go eat lunch. Or breakfast. Whatever. I haven't done either yet and the day is half over. Bye.
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